_edited.jpg)
The idea of Pabulum began very differently from the finished story. From my experience, most stories are sparked from a random thought or action, and their development is often shaped unexpectedly.
I can’t pinpoint how the idea came to me, but it was a rainy summer day in Iowa, circa 2009. I was hanging with my best friend Amber, sitting in her mother’s kitchen, munching on a bowl of red and green grapes with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Half-Baked ice cream.
I imagined mountains in the ice cream and a tiny person climbing and eating as they ascended. From there, an entire kingdom developed from nonsense. Or perfect order? Nonsensical perfection.
Originally it was meant to be an entirely different story, and perhaps I will still write the original thought, but Pabulum ruminated into something I never expected.
The word Pabulum has multiple definitions. Originally the word derived from the Latin term for “food” or “fodder” and was first used in English for anything taken in by plants or animals to maintain life and growth. Eventually it became the term used to describe “food for thought”. Perhaps I learned my love for the little things by exploring my Grandma Bea's acreage, diving into the seemingly insignificant every day explorations.
While Pabulum was first meant to be a story about a land made entirely of food, it shifted to expose a magic lost. Our world doesn’t praise magic or how powerful the microcosms are. So I decided to tell a story that my younger self would really enjoy.
However, developing this was more difficult than I expected. There was more research involved than I had suspected, and the details of the story didn’t come to me as quickly, and easily, as it did with the original thought. It took a very long time, 15 years, for it to really come together.
A lot of life happened between the idea and the developed product. I graduated college and moved to Hawai’i, where I wrote for a local magazine and worked for a scuba diving company.
When I returned from Hawai'i, I began taking a class from the Institute of Children’s Literature, which was such an expanding experience! But shortly after beginning the first course, I was diagnosed with melanoma. So I had surgery and moved to New Mexico. I found out I was pregnant six months after surgery, had my baby boy, got married, then divorced, and was nearly homeless. If it weren’t for my amazing friends, I would have been destitute.
Somehow I was able to keep myself together, and continue to find time for my writing class and completing my manuscript. Then my boyfriend died, and it felt like all I could do was write. I needed to escape somewhere -my reality was crumbling- so the world I had created felt like the best place to be. And it really was.
Suddenly, the story took on a life of its own and all of these ideas began to pour out of me. I wanted my characters to reflect the emotional turmoil and development I experienced within myself. At first, I wasn’t sure how to show that, but the story found its footing when I got it out of my head that I needed to figure out the ending, or development of a certain character. It didn’t always make sense to me when I started the thought, but by the messy ending, it had developed into something I was quite proud of.
Much of my inspiration stems from influence from the places I have lived. Iowa, Hawai'i and New Mexico all have breathtaking landscapes, different and unique in their own right. Each of these locations activated something that motivated me to expand on the magic hiding in every day moments.
I wanted to bring ancient deities back to life. I wanted to resurrect new meaning from old phrases and to bring old words back into existence. Sometimes I look back and am still unsure how I got to where I am now. I just kept going, kept writing, because I loved it and deep in my heart, I knew I needed to get this out. Like it wasn’t my story to tell, but a story that needed to be shared. So here it is. I hope you like it :)
Comments